


Queer

by SummerdaySands (IvyMcAllister)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Adult Humor, Friendship, Gen, Gen Fic, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-05
Updated: 2012-04-05
Packaged: 2017-11-03 02:23:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/376051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyMcAllister/pseuds/SummerdaySands
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair's in the bathroom.  Jim has the flu.  Then, things get a little...  queer.  </p><p>(Fair warning fangirls, this is Gen, not slash.  I repeat:  there is *no lemony goodness* after the ride.  Just humor.  Toilet humor.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Queer

Queer  
by Ivy McAllister (aka Summerday Sands)

\----------------------------------------------

"Wanna play, little fella?"

Blair's muffled words reached Jim's ears as if through a tunnel. Everything sounded wrong--his cold wasn't severe, but all his senses were dulled because of his clogged sinuses, especially smell and hearing.

Jim cast his eyes heavenward. "Lord, I don't even *want* to know what he's up to in there."

Coughing and clearing his throat, he went back to reading the sports section. Whatever Sandburg was talking about while camped out in the bathroom, Jim was sure he didn't want to know.

"Jim, man, you *have* to see this!"

Jim slowly looked up from his newspaper, one eyebrow raised skeptically. That had come through loud and clear.

"You're in the *bathroom,* Sandburg." Jim spoke slowly and with exaggerated patience. "That is the *last* thing I want to hear from *any*body when they're in the bathroom. Least of all my *male* roommate." Suppressing a shudder, Jim very deliberately returned his attention to his newspaper,  
giving it a huffy little shake as if to get the words back in place.

Blair was undaunted.

"Oh, come on, Jim. I guarantee you, this is something you have *never* seen before."

Jim was feeling rather queer. He recovered his composure, growling, "I'm not coming in there unless you're bleeding to death." He made the mistake, then, of raising his coffee to his lips.

"But it's so cute!"

Just Jim's eyes were visible over the top of the coffee-splattered newspaper. He was not amused.

"Christ Jesus, Sandbug, if there is anything even *remotely* cute in that bathroom right now, I am never - EVER - going to know about it. I do not *want* to know about it. For the last time, Sandburg, I am *not* coming in there, so just give it up already!" He punctuated that last statement with a hacking cough.

Not one to give up easily, Blair turned to wheedling.

"But Jiiiimmm. . . "

Folding the paper violently and tossing it down on the coffee table, Jim pushed himself to his feet. As he crossed the few feet to the bathroom door, he pushed his fuzzy bathrobe sleeves up as if preparing for a fight.

"Alright, Sandburg, this is it. You've got your wish. I'm coming in. But so help me, if I see anything . . ." He paused, hiding a stutter. ". . . *unusual,* I'm going to--"

Jim threw the door open.

Jim blinked. He blinked again.

"Sandburg, what the hell is that in your pants?"

The incredulous expression on Jim's face almost made Blair lose it.

Blair was seated unselfconsciously on the toilet, pants around his ankles. There, curled up in a nest of his jeans, was a small, sleeping cat.

Blair was red in the face now, desperately trying to contain his laughter so he didn't scare his new friend.

"It's . . . !snort! . . . Mrs. Carlysle's . . . ~snicker~ . . . from upstairs." He caught his breath, giggling madly. "Must have slipped in while I was bringing in the groceries."

Blair's grin was pure evil. "Told ya' it was cute, man."

Jim hadn't moved, but now he shook his head slowly. "There is so much I could say right now, Sandburg." Jim grinned. "But I will say one thing. You were right. The last thing I expected to find in your pants was a pus--"

"Jiiiiimmm!"

 

-end, Queer-

**Author's Note:**

> (This is also hosted at the WWOMB/Squidge (dot) org under my gen fic pseud, Summerday Sands. Originally posted there in 2004.)
> 
> Disclaimer: Jim & Blair are not my creations. They are the property of Pet Fly Productions, and I'll return them (none the worse for wear) as soon as I'm done with them. *crosses heart* Promise! I've made no money from this story.


End file.
